Fundamental

Last night Caleb and I went on a date.
We went last night.
The music was solid.
The food was delicious.
The company was wonderful.
And I hope we do it again.

It was called Fundamental at Opus Underground.
Great musicians: the Dejas, Venus Mars Project, Kevin William.
Sushi bar and delicious foods line "cubano" egg rolls - Caleb had those. I had the spicy salmon sushi.
Friends, lots of good friends and adult conversation ~ instead of babbling and answering many "why not?" questions.

.missing.

yesterday was the first day i really missed caleb.

what?! i've gone 2+ weeks and haven't missed him?

what kind of wife am i?

let me explain.

caleb is amazing. he's such a great friend, husband, dad, and he's a hard worker.

but.

he went to india. i was left in the USA. somewhat by choice. with a full time job & a certain 9 month old baby.

i can tell you... it is hard to miss someone or something when you're so busy. our days were filled with working, playing, going to the beach, and repeating. maybe with a few other fun activities added into the mix.

sam is a character. he's been so much fun lately and he's getting SO big!

my mom is a saint. she is watching sam EVERY day from 8am until 5pm, which is morphing into 6pm because i have a lot of work to do. while caleb is in india, i'm working in the office instead of from home. it's amazing. seriously. amazing. i miss working in the office.

let me preface it with this: i love my husband. i love sam. i love my job. in that order. well other things could be added in between. but those are the three pieces to this little write-up.

my boss was flexible and let me work from home after sam was born. it was hard, but it was amazing. i was so thankful to be able to work from home, be with sam and still earn a paycheck, you know to pay tuition and other bills.

as sam got older, it was harder to work from home. my sister-in-law, another saint, got me a little playpen, i put it in my office and sam hung out in his playpen and i worked... most of the time... i just had to take one day at a time. there were a few other saints who helped out... my friend katharine babysat sam a few times, for free. (i told you there were saints involved) caleb also watched sam. of course he's the dad and should, but he had work, finals, classes, papers, exams, etc so he didn't have much free time to spare.

anyway, it was hard to get my work done, take care of sam and still remain sane. so i actually was looking forward to working in the office and getting a break from the daily routine of work, sam, cooking, cleaning and other such stuff that comes with your own place.

 the past 2.5 weeks have been fabulous. i've rested. i feel focused with my job. my evenings are spent with sam, my family, walks, the beach. i'm not trying to figure out what to cook for dinner at 6pm. i'm not washing dishing at 9pm. i'm not cleaning the house on the weekends. my parents have been amazing letting me stay with them. of course, i've been trying to help out with dishes, cooking, a little cleaning and such, but they have been so helpful and to them caleb and i are so grateful.

rewind to last night.

i missed caleb.

 it was the first night i really had time to think. and to realize how much i missed caleb.

and it was a sad night.

but it was a good night.

because caleb is in india.

where he needs to be at the moment.

caleb is teaching & preaching & living in another country. for 6 weeks.

i miss him.

but we have a big God who is behind it all.

He loves us. He cares for us. He doesn't forget us.

and because i know caleb is supposed to be in india.

i don't begrudge him.

i'm happy for him.

i'm a little jealous. i'm a little envious. i'm a little sad.

i wish i could be there with him. experiencing india with him. as husband & wife. and maybe with sam.

but right now is not the time.

this fall: we have family to visit in sweden and a wedding in france.

and i have only so much vacation time.

and only so much money.

or should i say so little money.

and we must be wise with what we're given.

use our common sense.

and realize, there will be other times.

right now i need to take care of sara. i need to rest, relax, rejuvenate. spend time with sam. focus on my work and pray for caleb. caleb needs to be in india. he needs to be teaching and preaching and maybe relaxing a little. maybe taking a break from the intensity that is school, working, husband and father. not in a negative way. as a part of life. as a part of learning. and india.

i know it's not a break in the vacation sense b/c i know he's learning a lot. and they are doing a lot.

but it's different than what we've been doing the past 9 months.

which is working, school, housework, bills & sam.

with that.

caleb. you are amazing. i can't imagine what it's like for you in india. i kept thinking, "you're leaving me. you're leaving us." in reality, we weren't going with you. how hard must it have been for you to step onto the bus and say good-bye? how hard was it to board the plane knowing in 6 weeks sam could be walking or talking. maybe i'll cut my hair or change the color. or pierce my nose. or get a tattoo.

ok. kidding. i won't change as much.

but how hard was it to board the plane knowing in 6 weeks his life would be radically different. he was going to spend 6 weeks in another country. new languages. new cultures. new traditions. poverty. lots of people. sickness? new climate. different food. different clothes.

what would happen when he stepped off the plane in 6 weeks?

would his wife look different? would she dress different? would she expect different things?

would his son be walking, talking, running, shouting?

would he be shocked at the immense blessing he has of simply living in America? living in a nation where we can choose who and what we believe in. a nation of freedom. a nation of riches.

would he struggle with his own riches in contrast to the poverty he was exposed to in india?

would he struggle with enjoyment of the mountains and fresh clean air after his travel through smoggy, dusty, dirty, over-populated india?

would he miss the foothills of the himalayas in india?

would he miss the people, culture, food?

6 weeks can change a person.

they say it takes 30 days to form a habit.

maybe we'll form habits being apart for 6 weeks and feel like strangers.

but i don't think so.

i think the saying is accurate. "absence makes the heart stronger"

i think caleb and i will talk for hours about our experiences and what we've learned.

i will share the explorations sam and i went on.

caleb will tell me about the people.

i will tell caleb about my job and what i've learned being in the office.

caleb will tell me how the people in india do college.

i will tell caleb how rested i feel.

caleb will tell me how rejuvenated he feels.

i will tell caleb i missed him.

caleb will tell me he missed me.

and all will be right.

but last night i was missing him.

and that's ok.

because i should miss him.

but i don't want him to come home yet.

he's not ready.

india's not done with him.

so for that caleb, i understand.

stay.

be safe.

i love you.

and come back on the plane you booked.

safe but terrified.

changed but unharmed.

happy to be home.

but never the same.

and i pray i'll be able to understand you a little better when you return.

.besos.

day 2

caleb is in India.
he called me a few minutes ago.
he traveled for 36 straight hours...
10 minutes to the bus station
80 minutes to Logan
120 minutes of security & waiting at Logan
less than 120 minute flight to Newark
240+ minutes of waiting for his flight in Newark
870 minutes on an airplane to Delhi
a taxi ride to the train station
120 minutes of waiting at the train station
360 minutes on the train to Dehradun - final destination
something like that... i could be off a few minutes...
he's safe and sound in India.
and i miss him.
and it's only day 2.

i'm excited for his adventures. i'm excited to read his blog. i'm excited to see pictures. i'm excited to watch videos. i'm excited for his return. in 6 weeks. or in 42 days. not that i'm counting or anything.

swimming to India

sam checking out the waves

walking in the sand with mommy

Caleb left for India today.

Sam and I will be missing him mucho.

But hopefully we'll be doing some of the following:

1) texting

2) emailing

3) calling

4) SKYPING!!!

Today I helped get Caleb on his way and then worked.

When I came home, I was greeted by Sam who crawled to me in record time. We had dinner and took a little swim in the ocean. Sam LOVED it!

It was his first time actually in the ocean. Unfortunately, we haven't been able to go sooner, but today was a success. Sam LOVED the sand. Then, we put him at the water's edge and he thought it was just great. Since I grew up on the ocean and LOVED going to the beach, I'm so glad to have a little boy who seems to have the same appreciation for the ocean as I do.

sitting in the sand for the first time and the verdict is out. he likes it!

sam's on a mission... ocean here he comes.

 

taking a dip in the ocean, sheer joy on his face

hugs for mommy

sam walking in the waves

Sammy Swimming to India

Above is a link to a video of Sam crawling towards one of my first loves. The ocean. I think he wanted to swim to his dad in India. Well, his dad wasn't quite there yet, but he will be tomorrow. Hope you enjoy. And thanks to my Dad (morfar) and my brother (uncle Pete) for making the video possible, ie making sure Sam didn't drown!
(note: my frantic voice as I'm recording Sam's crawl into the ocean and a wave splashes over him. Uncle Pete came to the rescue)

finding caleb...

thursday, september 16, 2010
3:40pm
...i'm crouched under my desk i feel a strange feeling... i stand up and it feels like i wet my pants!
i think fast... i grab my iPhone, change of clothes and run into the bathroom, but not before i poke my head into my office where the comcast guys are and say "i think my water just broke, carry on!" in the bathroom i called the midwife... oh the memories that were made that day!!
i didn't end up speaking to my midwife, it was a nurse who answered. i told her my water broke, i had been at the office earlier in the day and my due date is monday, october 4, 2010. she asked me "are you sure your water broke?" "ummm, my pants are soaked and it's not pee..." based on my answer she said i had to go to the hospital right away. right away? my mind was racing: comcast was setting up internet and phone for my home office; they said it would take 3 hours, caleb was in class, my apartment was still in chaos, i didn't have a THING ready for baby alpine - the crib mattress was on back order and we didn't have the moses basket yet, my hospital bag was not packed... we did have the car seat, it arrived in the mail a week earlier and i took it out of its box the night before. seriously was NOT expecting baby alpine to arrive so soon! especially after my appointment earlier in the day resulted in the midwife stating "it's your first child and they are usually late."
i asked the nurse if i could wait an hour and she said no, i need to come in right away. this went against what my birthing class instructor taught us in class. we learned we can labor at home, even if my water breaks. we should call but should still be able to labor at home. caleb was in class, he won't be back until at least 5:15pm.
still in the bathroom, i change my clothes, freak out that i'm having a baby and calmly go into my bedroom to start packing, call caleb and then talk to comcast.
3:50pm i text caleb "call me!!!!!!! my water just broke!!!!!!! callllllllll mmmmmeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!" (sense the urgency? lol) i didn't want to "disturb his class" if his cell phone wasn't on vibrate. i go into my office and casually say to comcast, "my water broke and i have to go to the hospital. how long will it take for you to finish?" they look at each other frantically and say it'll be a while. they ask if the girl who helped them in the basement (accessing certain internet stuff) could stay here while they finish. "i'll check."
i walk back into my bedroom checking my cell phone. caleb hasn't texted me back. ugh. i try calling him. no answer. i try calling my mom's cell phone. no answer. i try my parent's home phone. no answer. i try calling caleb again. no answer. i'm starting to get nervous, starting to tear up. will i have to do this alone? i call my dad's office and reach him. "dad, my water just broke, i have to go to the hospital. i just wanted to let you know." i was trying to be real casual. his response, "is caleb there? did you call mom?" at those questions, my voice starts to waver and i'm trying to hold back tears. "caleb is in class and hasn't answered his cell phone. mom didn't answer her cell phone or home phone. it's going to be ok though, i'm going to get someone to help me. i gotta go."
i go downstairs and knock on jen's door. she's there. hallelujah. chorus of angels start singing as she answers the door. {joking} "um, jen, my water just broke and comcast is upstairs. can you please stay with them so i can go to the hospital and they can finish the job?" saying this as i hold my legs together, trying to keep my water from leaking {all you moms who have had your water break, probably understand where i'm coming from, if you haven't experienced this, don't judge}. jen goes into survival mode. "do you need anything? are you ok? where's caleb?" we hurry back to my apartment where i continue packing for the hospital...
there is a need for parts 3 & 4 - they will be coming, patience...

sara's kitchen's faves - numero cuatro

so... i haven't posted in a while about my kitchen faves, so i thought it was about time to post one.

{image courtesy of cuisinart}

caleb and i received a FABULOUS blue dutch oven from a friend as wedding gift. it's made by cuisinart and i use it alllll the time. (it's similar to the one in the link, but a prettier blue)

a few PROS
- it's blue (my fave color - if you haven't already figured that out)
- it's like a crock pot without a plug... plop it on the stove, put in some ingredients, turn the stove on, and let simmer, voila... a few hours later, dinner...
- it makes the best chili
- it makes the best spaghetti sauce
- it can be put in the oven
- it can be put in the fridge
- and many many many more...

i could go on... but i won't, i'll spare you.

disclaimer: the dutch oven doesn't MAKE the chili or spaghetti sauce, it has SOMETHING to do w/the chef, BUT i don't think my chili or spaghetti sauce would be nearly as delish without this dutch oven.

caleb decided to cook for me one day. i was gone and came home to a messy kitchen (ugh) but all smelled delicious (he was redeemed). i sat down to a delightful meal (i wish i had pictures). it was a green salad, spaghetti and homemade spaghetti sauce.
now this was my man's FIRST attempt at spaghetti sauce, and he used the dutch oven... mind you, he didn't even know what a dutch oven was... i swear his spaghetti sauce was possibly, maybe, probably... better than mine... i know, it almost hurts to say it. my hubster is a good cook when he wants to be, which i benefit from. he enjoys experimenting in the kitchen... which is ok too when it turns out as delicious as that dinner was.
anyway, i asked him WHERE he found the recipe... he googled it and in reading the recipe, he realized it called for a dutch oven. he thought, where can i find a dutch oven? so he googled "dutch oven" and realized, SARA HAS ONE!!! and put ol' blue cuisy to use :)
which i was extremely thankful for

boston bound...

yup, caleb and i are headed to the red sox game...

jealous?

i'm so excited to be here...

[image]

and then here...


[image]

and watch them play baseball...

[can't remember where i found the image]

and him score a home run...

[ image]


and hopefully eat one of these...

[can't remember where i got this picture either]

boy does he look like he's enjoying his fenway frank... :)

on a nice warm 90 degree may day

now let's hope for a good win for the red sox :)

favorite game

tonight caleb and i played a round of...

settlers



my favorite game :)

two people can play...

or as many as six people can play if you have the extension pack; which we do, since we are settlers enthusiasts...

i was introduced to the game YEARS ago...

in sweden; my favorite country, for obvious reasons... ;)


(granberget, sweden - where caleb proposed June 2008 - obviously it was much warmer!)


then my mormor (she's awesome, read this post) and morfar bought us (my brothers and me) the game for christmas one year...

not long after we got the game, i visited my friends shannon and mark and THEY pulled out settlers...

and then i bought the game for caleb for his birthday...

and now that we're married, we play it on date nights IN; we have a blast; i usually WIN

because i'm competitive like that...

and sneaky...

and because he's wicked good at RISK, he thinks he'll dominate at SETTLERS, and then i sneak up, and win the game... most of the time...

but i still love him, because we have fun playing, and occasionally he does win...

check out the game... you can get it here and i'm sure other places...

but make sure you get the expansion pack... if you ever think you'll play with more than 4 people...

oh, and happy settling.

back to the grind...

it's back to work for me... i had a blissful 2 1/2 week vacation and now it's back to reality...

~a few highlights~

• spending christmas w/caleb's family
• johannes & rebecka's wedding on new year's eve
• shopping w/my cousins (in sweden)
• ice skating on lake siljan w/family & friends
• having dinner w/friends at valpiano in stockholm
• visiting my aunt and her family in uppsala
• ice-skating w/linnea and my aunt anna
• checking out the dom kyrka in gamla uppsala with my mom
• shopping and spending time w/my mormor
• birthday party for ME in sweden
• cross country skiing w/uncle, aunt and mormor
• spending time w/people i love
• coming home to caleb...
• celebrating "christmas" with caleb on jan 10

currently my body is functioning 6 hrs ahead of EST... so i'm off to take a nap!

pictures & videos of my highlights to follow... :)

101 reasons...

A Tribute to Caleb



101 Reasons Why I Love You
(in no particular order)

1) You make me laugh
2) You tell me I'm beautiful
3) You take me on adventures
4) You speak French
5) You speak Spanish
6) You're learning Swedish :)
7) You love God
8) You love the mountains
9) You love rock climbing
10) You're athletic
11) You know how to cook
12) You do the dishes most of the time
13) You do the grocery shopping
14) We take turns cleaning the bathroom
15) We read books together (Bible, etc)
16) You are passionate about your job
17) You love photography
18) You have an appreciation for art
19) You give fabulous back massages
20) You play w/my hair
21) You humor me
22) You can ALWAYS recognize a movie soundtrack
23) I can tell you part of a movie and you know the name of it, even if you haven't seen it (if I can't remember the name of the movie, it will bug me)
24) You came to Sweden with me
25) You proposed to me IN SWEDEN!
26) You took me rock climbing
27) You took me on overnight hiking trips
28) You let me take you snowboarding - even though you hadn't been in over 3 years!
29) You spend Christmas with me and my family after ONLY being together for less than 2 months
30) You support my dreams & endeavors
31) You bought me fabulous art supplies (see #30)
32) You have an awesome family
33) You have 3 sisters and I have 3 brothers - now you have 3 brothers and I have 3 sisters :)
34) You are the oldest of 4 (I am the oldest of 4)
35) You go along w/my crazy ideas sometimes, but you keep me grounded!
36) You make me waffles on Saturday mornings
37) You take care of me when I'm sick
38) You love sushi
39) One day we will make sushi :)
40) Did I mention you humor me?! ;)
41) I'm type A; you're type B - we work things out!
42) You balance me - see #41
43) You let me register for most things blue when we were doing our registry; it's my favorite color
44) I suggested you register at REI and you were SO excited
45) You CAME WITH ME to register
46) We had dates at the Derby Street Shops
47) We had dates in the mountains: in New Hampshire, in Maine, in New York and in Sweden - hopefully we'll have many more dates in the mountains :)
48) Our first 'kiss' was on top of a mountain at sunset
49) You proposed to me on another mountain top at sunset
50) You goof off with me!!!!!
51) Did I mention you make me laugh?
52) You have good ideas
53) You wear flip flops ;)
54) You didn't like to read when you were little; you've now read more books than me in the past year!!
55) You set goals and achieve them
56) You used to play soccer
57) You used to surf
58) One day you will teach me to surf
59) You get excited about the little things in life...
60) You appreciate the beauty in the world that God has created and you find ways to capture it on film
61) You gave me a beautiful picture of a water lily for my birthday that I will always cherish (see #60)
62) You were the one who couldn't keep their hair under control when we got married...
63) You had long hair at our wedding... I'm not sure WHY, but this is a good thing.
64) You came with my family to Maine; the last time my morfar EVER came to America :)
65) You don't mind if I wake you up in the middle of the night when I've had a nightmare, and then you pray w/me (for some reason, I've been having HORRIBLE nightmares lately - last time this happened was Fall 2003)
66) You are real
67) You give me fabulous hugs and kisses!
68) You buy good presents
69) This is good b/c I feel loved by cards, gifts, etc
70) The presents you give ALWAYS have a good deal of thought behind them
71) You get excited about going out for ice-cream, pizza, dinner, etc
72) You love going to the movies
73) You dislike shopping; unless it's for hiking or other athletic paraphernelia - then you get REAL into it
74) Which means you CAN relate about my love for shopping... when it comes to certain things...
75) You love my cooking (most of the time - but you don't complain if you don't like it) :)
76) You love that I experiment with cooking, right?
77) You go all out when you make your lunch for work
78) You look good in a suit, even w/long hair
79) You think outside the box!!!!
80) You are a good Youth Pastor
81) You care about your students
82) You love God (I mentioned it already)
83) You preach good sermons
84) You know how to play guitar - this is a PLUS and I wish you would play MORE!!!
85) I live in organization, you can live in disorganization - this is puzzling to me
86) You have traveled to quite a few countries and APPRECIATE America as well as have an APPRECIATION for OTHER cultures
87) You know that the US isn't the ONLY country that exists
88) You are diplomatic
89) You enjoy learning
90) You enjoy good conversations
91) We have enjoyable and inspiring conversations
92) We can vent to each other
93) We laugh with each other
94) We exercise together (not always, but sometimes, and it's fun)
95) You pour your life into your job (sometimes I don't LIKE this, but I really appreciate it about you!!)
96) We both love living in Ipswich
97) You spent your Tuesdays (day off) coming to see me and we usually had dinner with my family :)
98) You get along with my family
99) You give me cards that make me cry (I don't cry easily - for the most part)
100) You married me
101) You love me